I sometimes find myself going to places solely to watch other people. It's way better than television. Like last night I went to Brewski's with some friends. I grabbed a beer and quickly found a booth, sliding into the seat against the wall so that I could face the front door and the rest of the bar. The best seat in any place is always the one facing the front door. As the night went on, I noticed that I really wasn't doing anything other than casually conversing with friends and watching everyone else that was there. Even our conversations were about the other people in the bar. I saw lots of people doing lots of things last night, none of which was too memorable, but I still cataloged it all in my head.
I watched my friend Anna, who works at the bar, chase after some guys that were too drunk to realized they walked out without paying. I saw a girl dressed just like Cindy Lauper. I commented on her attire, then it turned out she knew one of my friends and sat down with us. So then I had Cindy Lauper at my table. I thought I knew Cindy, but it turns out I didn't. I saw a girl with huge breasts popping out of her tiny shirt. I saw the same girl constantly tug at her shirt to keep those bad boys under control. I watched as some guy at the bar slowly lost all of his friends to other groups of friends. After realizing he no longer had anyone to talk to, he began looking around the room with this look that said "where did all my friends go...oh, there's a few over there...oh, and there's some more of them talking to those other people...well, I'm cool just sitting here alone...totally cool with this...just watching soccer...no big deal...totally cool." I saw a girl put her hands on her ass and shake it up and down for seemingly no reason at all. I watched as another girl repeatedly rubbed her ass on my friend's shoulder, also for seemingly no reason at all. Each time she did it, she would turn around and apologize, sometimes hugging my friend as if that was her motive all along. I saw several of my friends passing through the bar. We waved at each other, exchanged hellos, then they continued moving along. I have no idea where any of them were going. They simply vanished into the crowd. I watched some guy use the table I was sitting at to write a girl's digits on the back of a receipt. A few strangers sat next to us at the table because the place was so crowded that people had resorted to sharing tables with strangers European style. I saw a girl spill a drink at our table, and then magically whip out a dry towel from nowhere and quickly clean it up. I have no idea where that towel came from. I was perplexed for a good 5 seconds. On my way to the restroom, I weaved in and out of a large group of people playing pool. There must have been like 15 or 20 guys with pool cues standing around two pool tables. I'm not sure what game they were playing, but with that many players it was sure to be complicated. In the restroom, I stood at a trough style urinal next to a guy that was whistling a song that did not in the least bit resemble the song playing over the speakers in the bathroom. On my way back to the table, everyone was staring at me. I thought I might have dribbled a bit of pee on my jeans or something. I checked when I sat down. The jeans were dry, but the zipper was half open. I'm sure no one noticed the zipper because of my blinding good looks and dashing style. Then the lights came on, and we were all ugly again.
